Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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