It's like God shit irony all over that family
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
