If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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