So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
