i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You dont lie about slip and slides
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
