I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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