so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
