oh god the rape fog is back!
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
