I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
