Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
