bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
