Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
