due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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