I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so let's talk penis.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
