you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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