I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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