my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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