i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
