She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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