my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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