Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
