Your dad touched me again.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We left the knife in your bed.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
