ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
