walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
