return my video game
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
