I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Let's get the cat blown out
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
