I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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