I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
