Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You ruined the universe
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
