C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
