that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
