Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
