Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My feet surprised me
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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