just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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