Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
