Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
