I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Dignity is for republicans.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
