I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
