that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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