yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
