The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
