So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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