East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
