How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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