My first STD was from a foam party
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
