Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
