I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
