p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
