why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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