If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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